Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
