I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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