Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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