yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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