don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
