I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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