she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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