I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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