Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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