just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
