I wanna bring you to show and tell
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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