I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
