Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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