i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
