i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
