Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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