I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
