batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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