she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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