She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
