the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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