I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
