God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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