I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
