Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
