i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
