break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
