and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so let's talk penis.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
