Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize