what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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