Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
