THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Girls should come with a carfax report
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
