Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
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