I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
