Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
