she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize