hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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