Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
