well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
