I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Found your dick twin last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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