i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do vagina's smell?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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