So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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