Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
