I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
