First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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