Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
