It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Operation Purity has been aborted
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
