I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
