I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She's like a pop up book from hell.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
