Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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