We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
