please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
operation have a gay friend backfired
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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