I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
