I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Vodka?
Forever.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
