is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
