Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
