I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
