i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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