I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
