Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
