in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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