yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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