I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
