my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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