I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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