erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
