Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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