cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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